The annual Gore-Tex fest that is the Ordnance Survey Outdoors Show kicked off today at Birmingham’s NEC.

Visitors to the three-day show can see previews of what they will be spending their pennies on in the coming months. There are even – tellingly – fashion shows featuring outdoor gear. Who says it doesn’t matter what you look like on the hills?

The Ordnance Survey is also offering workshops on navigation and the use of GPS in the outdoors. Authorities from many of the country’s obvious destinations are at the show, as well as a less-expected appearance by Bournemouth Tourism.

Tomorrow, Saturday, you can listen to Ray Mears if eating bugs and parading in 60s khaki is your kind of thing; Alan Hinkes, the chapatti king, will be talking on ‘K2, Everest and other high hills’, and Simon Yates will sign a copy of his book for you on Sunday on payment of the appropriate spondulix. And the Girl Guides will be helping you with your bushcraft and survival skills.

Tomorrow, of course, is St Patrick’s Day, which is a good excuse to enjoy a bit of Irish hospitality and listen to some traditional Irish music while wondering just who did invent a dance style where the legs go crazy and the arms are paralysed.

Entry to the show is £14 for an adult and £38 for a family of two adults and up to three children. Details and timetables are on the Outdoors Show website.